Excerpts from the soon to be published The Calm Book , by Tzirelchana,mom and writer devoted to promoting world calmness.
We recently started a new year. Yes, according to the Mishna, Rosh Hodesh Nissan, the first day of the month of Nissan is the new year for festivals and kings and aren’t all we Jews royal, all of us Jewish women princesses. To me, the idea of starting the year during the spring feels intuitively right.
Aside from Pesach cleaning, a great way to celebrate is to de-clutter. . De-cluttering is like dieting except you can eat as much as you like while your house loses the weight. And you find such interesting stuff. Calendars from 2006, and 5 and 4, math tests, going back at least a decade, and not to mentional ties of any size, jackets with shoulder pads to fit a linebacker, expired medicines…
Right now, I’m preaching but I’m not practicing. Decluttering just doesn’t seem so royal. Does Queen Elizabeth go round Balmoral or Windsor filling giant hefy bags? Still I know its what I need to do and though the prospect makes me yawn—I’d rather be writing or painting, So here’s a start. A procrastinator’s prayer.
: Dear G-d, make we want to get the junk out of my house and out of my soul. And then help me to do it.Amen.
The Calm Book- Post #2
You heard it through the grapevine, that your niece or sister or first cousin became a Kallah or a mother…None of the baalei simcha the primary parties, who happened to be your very closest relatives actually phoned to inform you..
Though you are happy, your primary emotion is hurt. You sulk. You feel sorry for yourself. You may even speak badly of the people who didn’t tell you—what kind of a family is this anyway? And how did you end up in it?
You know that you have to give them the benefit of the doubt so you think up excuses, reasons why they didn’t call, the time difference, telephone troubles, too overwhelmed, but the hurt has settled in your heart. You can’t seem to pry it lose.
You unload to your journal or your therapist or your friend and you have a good cry.
Families. We have expectations. Of how things should be. Of how we should be treated..
Lets reframe. Consider, really consider that the ba’alei simcha aren’t out to get you. That they have good reasons for not phoning yet.
Before my own nieces’s shidduch was finalized. I heard about it through a third party. I figured that my brother didn’t care about me enough to call and I hurt, needlessly.The shidduch wasn’t final yet. He didn’t want to tell anyone until it was a done deal and he was quite right to keep quiet.
Now, I’m going to do teshuva,. Whenever something like this happens, I will just keep still and wait. More shall be revealed.
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